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Pagan Standard Time is a trait peculiar to Pagans, and ranges in length
from being late for a Circle, to not showing up at all. A Pagan who is less
than two hours late is considered "on time" just like the Long Island
Railroad.
With nearly a million Pagans in the United States, and twice as many in the
rest of the world, we believe it's high time a clock was designed which would
show time the way Pagans are used to seeing it. And so, this proposal from the
Witches' Annual editors for:
It has these special features:
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The seconds hand is eliminated, since no Pagan works on THAT tight a schedule.
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Pagan Standard Time is measured by an extra hand, which moves at about half the
speed of the hours hand.
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There are 13 hours on the dial, thus making two exta hours in the day for
Pagans who are always too busy to do anything.
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Hours 5 through 8 have been eliminated, since any Pagan at that time is a)
alseep, b) just getting to sleep, c) just waking up, d) too busy, or e)
unavailable.
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To be sure that a Circle will begin on the stroke of Midnight, there are two
extra Midnight hours.
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For Pagans who begin Circles at 9 o'clock, there are two extra ninth hours.
Also two extra tenth hours for late arrivals.
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Since there is no eleventh hour, there is no need for the Pagan to rush. There
are no deadlines to meet, there is no "last chance," and the
consistent goof-off will never have to face the music.
A decorator model of the Pagan Standard Time Clock, mounted in a genuine Giant
Land Snail shell, will be available as soon as we get around to it.
from the Witches' Annual, published by
Arcane Crafts, Box 383, Mastic Beach New York,11951
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